I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
