YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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