did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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