Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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