It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i think i scared a bird with my dick
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
