Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
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