I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
