im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
