So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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