Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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