watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
