I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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