How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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