in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
