I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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