Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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