We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
