So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
