The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
