god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
