Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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