hell yes lets make some ravioli
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
