Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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