He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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