Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
