so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Randomize
