Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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