I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
