gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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