Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
is wine microwaveable?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
