Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
