it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
