May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
