So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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