if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
