I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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