I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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