I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
