we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
