I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
