My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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