after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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