Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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