i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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