do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
