You work out of a Hotel?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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