her vagine was all disorganized.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
