Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
