I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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