sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
