The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
