To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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