Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
