For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Did I show you my penis last night?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
