your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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