It's just like the Real World with babies
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize