as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
