this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize