do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
