Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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