I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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