found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
