ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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